July 1999

About living far away from home...

I live approximately 3500 kilometers away from my parents. It's at least a five day driving trip and a four hour flight, passing through two time zones. I've lived this far away for two out of the last three years, though for the first year I was at school. So I knew when I was coming home. But now I don't.

I get to have dinner with my family maybe a few times a year-- at Christmas and when I have the money to go home during the summertime. My dad is never around to fix the car when I need it fixed. And my mom's laundry facilities are a long way off.

There are lots of times when I think, "why am I doing this to myself?" Living by yourself in a city where you have no family is a strengthening experience, but often alienating and tremendously lonely. It's sometimes hard not to feel sorry for myself when my friends from around here causually mention that they're off to their parents' place for dinner.

But, there are advantages to this life. You become extremely strong and capable. I know more about my car than I'd ever dream of. I found my apartment by myself. And I can install mirrors, shelves, pictures, put furniture together, and fix stuff.

The other interesting thing about living so far away from home is that your friends become paramount. I have a little Ontario support network of fellow j-school grads, friends from home, and co-workers, and I cherish them like nothing else.

And, of course, a new city is a new life. It's easy to reinvent yourself in a city where no one knows your history. I left home a wreck-- heartbroken, with my career a mess-- and somehow I've emerged on the other side of the country as a whole person again. Not everything in my life is perfect, but I'm not stressed out, or depressed, or heartsick.

I'm going home for the first time this year in August. I'll spend a week goofing off with my parents and my best friend, and then I'll be back here. And though I'll be sad to leave, I'll probably be content when I step back into my downtown apartment....in the middle of the unknown.